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If you use it the right way, it's a valuable tool for reinforcing good behavior, boosting your child's self-esteem, and making her feel loved, appreciated, and inspired. "The majority of marriages fail, either ending in divorce and separation or devolving into bitterness and dysfunction," writes The Atlantic's Emily Esfahani Smith in a recent essay."Somehow, parents have come to believe that by praising their kids they improve their self-esteem," Paul Donahue, Ph D, founder and director of Child Development Associates, says."Though well-intentioned, putting kids on a pedestal at an early age can actually hinder their growth." Too much praise can backfire, it seems, and, when given in a way that's insincere, make kids afraid to try new things or take a risk for fear of not being able to stay on top where their parent's praise has put them.Parents everywhere praise their kids when they do well in school, win a ball game, or build an impressive sandcastle, anything that seems to be something remarkable -- and, in many cases, anything that's just plain old vanilla.Jenn Berman, Ph D, a marriage and family therapist and author of The A to Z Guide to Raising Happy and Confident Kids, says, "We are becoming praise junkies as parents.If your compliments tend to be about you ("I think you did a great job") rather than about your child ("I'll bet you're proud of yourself"), she'll start to look for your approval every time she does something.But that doesn't mean you should drop praise from your disciplinary playbook.

Then she jumped one foot down from a step on the playscape.This applies to lousy, spirit-breaking times in your marriage.It also applies to the good times."How someone responds to a partner's good news," she writes, "can have dramatic consequences for the relationship."This stopped me cold. Why is it so easy to forget to genuinely celebrate each other's victories, large and small?"That's the most beautiful picture I've ever seen -- wow!""It was very nice of you to say please.""I'm so proud of you for hitting that home run in the T-ball game."As parents, we've become addicted to praising our kids.

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