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More often than not, physical intimacy in the very early stages of a relationship diminishes the potential for loving and lasting.Do you or someone you know who is looking for a serious relationship, have affair after affair that lasts anywhere from three days to three months, and can’t figure out why?If you are acting like Alice and Gary – jumping into the sac and hoping that a true relationship will come of it, you’re probably finding that the “sac” has plenty of holes.◊♦◊As a culture, we have forgotten the power of physical intimacy and the vulnerability it evokes.This was certainly the case with a young male client who felt discouraged by his performance in the bedroom with his girlfriend of five days.I had put all of my eggs in her basket, and that tended to make me more focused on her than perhaps I should've been. I wanted to run, jump, swim into "what's next" with her. I wanted to devour and praise and massage her all the time. So I know in my fitness walking and walking frequently is the key to my happiness.I wanted her badly, and our courtship turned to passion in a few weeks. I learned, in the course of dating her, to taper my sprint a bit. Of course, as single parents that wasn't really an option. In my physical exercise I am happy to get some running in on the tennis court, THAT is worth it to me. It may be a longer haul to get as fit as I'd like to be, but I have very little pain and almost no need for recovery days.o you know what the right speed is for getting involved with someone? There's often wisdom in taking things slow, yet some of us use that as an excuse to never get going.Finding the right pace — and knowing when you're using caution as a crutch — is the key to nurturing a new romance.

Time after time I would write a love poem and think, "Man this is a good one, I should share it." And inevitably this would lead to a freak out. And then I would get a second wind and sprint back to the front of the pack and send another mis-timed missive. I didn't learn very quickly that this was a running woman, but she wasn't ready to run with me into a "R" relationship. And I have more time alone again to reflect on my pattern.

I love what the New International Reader’s Version says in Song of Solomon 2:7: “Women of Jerusalem, make me a promise. So, if we agree that there is a right (and a wrong) time to awaken love and that taking it slowly is a good thing, then I propose that going slowly involves more than a simple application of physical and emotional boundaries to a dating relationship.

Successfully going slowly can only happen when it is done as a joint effort — when both parties' end goal is to honor God and each other.

Most of us applaud couples of any age or in any season of life who endeavor to go slowly in their relationships, because we understand that this commitment is both admirable and respectful.

As my husband and I mentor 20-somethings on a weekly basis, we find ourselves constantly telling couples: "When you think you are going slow, ?

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